Monday, January 15, 2007

Reaching my Breaking Point

In materials engineering, the breaking or fracture point of a material is the point where the material just literally snap, where no longer is the material exhibiting elastic or even non-elastic behaviour, and where, depending on the functional condition of the assigned material, it could either be something dangerous, or just a dire warning to the materials engineer that such shitty things do happen. And what do y0u know, maybe, just maybe, I might be reaching mine too, and this is no metaphorical thingy that I would usually ascribe to my writings, but more as a measured reaction to the things that is happening around me. My only hope is that this is not a knee-jerk reaction, but more of a precursor to something even bigger or/and better.

What are my wishes for this year 2007? Hmm, to pen down those thoughts is like literally making me hold myself hostage to the demands of my alter-ego's expectations. But safe to say that among others, I do hope, like my previous post, to be a better person by nature, to be more of a mentor to my students and subordinates, to be able to synthesise my readings better, to create and give opportunities to my friends and officers to develop their rightful potential. But it seems so hard sometimes when things are just not falling into the right places at times, but I guess, like what I always advise others, 'Semua yang terjadi ada hikmahnya', which basically means, that 'Things usually happens for a reason, of which sometimes we might never ever know until we reached that 'AHA!' moment!'

So as I sit here being contemplative and reflective, I do wonder maybe, just maybe, sometimes I try too hard to be this better person. Shouldn't I be letting things flow, just let them be, just let nature takes its course. In the words of Bruce Lee, "I am not here to live up to YOUR expectations, and neither are you here to live up to MINE!" Harsh words, but I do feel that sometimes I am too harsh on myself. Look at what it has gotten me into, or NOT. I do wonder. But then again, this is just a test, something that I will just take it in my stride, and do whatever that I can to overcome, and persevere.

Like the saying that goes, 'The value of a MAN is not when all things are well and fine, but when he faces difficulty and challenges, that one will be able to see what IS his (or her) true value and self-worth'

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